Black Turkey

Ingredients:

1 turkey
salt
7 garlic cloves
4 egg yolks
1 apple
1 orange
1 large can crushed pineapple
1 lemon
4 large onions
6 large celery stalks
3 tbsp. preserved ginger
2 cans water chestnuts
1 tbsp. flour
3 packages unseasoned bread crumbs
¾ pounds ground veal
½ pounds ground pork
¼ pound butter
1 quart apple cider
¼ teaspoon sage and basil
2 large bay leaves
2 teaspoon caraway seed
2 teaspoon celery seed
½ teaspoon chili powder
4 cloves
½ tsp ground coriander
½ teaspoon mace
½ teaspoon marjoram
2 teaspoon dry mustard
2 ½ teaspoon oregano
4 tbsp. parsley
pepper, black
1 tbsp. poultry seasoning
2 teaspoon poppy seed
¾ teaspoon sage
½ teaspoon savory
Tabasco
¾ teaspoon sage thyme
½ teaspoon turmeric Have the butcher, cut its head off at the end of the neck, peel back the skin, and remove the neck close to the body, leaving the tube. You will want this for stuffing. Also , he should leave all the fat on the bird. When you are ready to cook your bird, rub it inside and out with salt and pepper. Give it a friendly pat and set it aside. Chop the heart, gizzard, and liver and put them, with the neck, into a stewpot with a clove of garlic, a large bay leaf, ½ tsp coriander, and 2 tsp. salt. Cover this with about 5 cups of water and put on the stove to simmer. This will be the basting fluid a little later. Get a huge bowl. Throw into it one diced apple, one diced orange, a large can of crushed pineapple, the grated rind of a lemon, and three tablespoons of chopped preserved ginger. Add 2 cans of drained Chinese water chestnuts. Mix this altogether, and get a second, somewhat smaller, bowl. Into this, measuring by teaspoons, place: 2 hot dry mustard
2 caraway seed
2 celery seed
2 poppy seed
1 black pepper
2 ½ oregano
½ mace
½ turmeric
½ marjoram
½ savory
¾ sage
¾ thyme
¼ basil
½ chili powder In the same bowl, add poultry seasoning, 4 tbsp. parsley, 1 tbsp. salt, 4 crushed cloves, 1 well crushed bay leaf, 4 large chopped onions, 6 good dashes Tabasco, 5 crushed garlic cloves, 6 large chopped celery. In a third bowl mix three packages of unseasoned bread crumbs (or two loaves of toast or bread crumbs), ground veal, ground fresh pork, butter, and all the fat you have been able to pull out of the bird. In an enormous bowl mix the contents of all the other bowls. Mix it well. Stuff the bird and skewer it. Put the leftover stuffing into the neck tube. Turn your oven to 500 degrees F and get out a fifth small bowl. Make a paste consisting of those four egg yolks and lemon juice. Add 1 tsp hot dry mustard, a crushed clove of garlic, 1 tbsp. onion juice, and enough flour to make a stiff paste. When the oven is red hot, put the bird in, breast down on the rack. When the bird has begin to brown all over, then take it out and paint the bird all over with paste. Put it back in and turn the oven down to 350 degrees F. Let the paste set, then pull the bird out and paint again. Keep doing this until the paste is used up. Add a quart of cider or white wine to the stuff that's been simmering on the stove, This is your basting fluid. The turkey must be basted every 15 minutes. Don't argue. Set your timer and keep it up. You can baste from the juice under the bird or with the juice from the pot on the stove. Make certain that the juice under the bird neither dries out and burns, nor becomes so thin that gravy is weak. When you run out of baste, use cheap red wine. The bird should cook about 12 minutes per pound, basting every 15 minutes. Enlist the aid of your friends and family. As the bird cooks, it will first get a light brown, then a dark brown, then darker and darker. After about 2 hours the bird will be turning black and in fact, by the time it is finished, it will look as though we have ruined it.